Why Can’t I Talk Dirty?

Am I the only one who gets embarrassed talking to their partners about they sexual turn ons? I wanna know, y’all — for realz!

Maybe it goes back to when I was a little kid. My parents got me this cool ride-on train that ran on a track all through the house. Could I go! I had to be two or three. It’s my first memory, other than the occasional snatch of visual from the crib. I used that train for exactly one day, then it got boxed up and put on a high shelf. It never came down again, and I would just look at it, wishing. For whatever reason, I had already learned not to ask for what I wanted.

I was talkin’ to my bestie and they was telling me about another friend who refused to say out loud what they wanted from a sexual partner. What is that? I identified like a mo’ fo’. It’s like a recurring nightmare, where I know I need help—there’s danger—but my voice doesn’t work and I can’t move! It’s sex for frig’s sake. I’m already nekked. I’ve likely had this person’s sex organs in my mouth, but I can’t say out loud that I’d like to do this or that?

How else has my tongue been tied and my primal urges been domesticated to the point I can’t even say ‘em out loud? I’d bet money that not a single person I had contact with as a kid would take credit for it. I’m sure everybody who reads this post is thinking of they self as damn ass sexually liberated, but I doubt nary a one of y’all will type up in the comments then unique things you like done to you during sex. You gonna claim it’s because that’s private. Lol!

I wish I lived in a world where talking about sex was something could be done in casual conversations. It could at least be as common as talking about the last movie a person saw, or what book they are reading. What makes those things okay to talk about, yet sex (the required behavior for the survival of the species) taboo? I’m sure more people have sex that read! I’d put down cash more people have sex than watch television.

There’s a challenge in there for anyone daring enough to meet it. In the meantime, I’ll be looking for some good BDSM and nipple play.

Pink Flowers

Pink Flowers is a Black trans artist, activist and educator, whose work is rooted in ancient shamanic, African trickster, and Brazilian Joker traditions. Pink uses Theater of the Oppressed, Art of Hosting, Navajo Peacemaking and other anti-oppression techniques, as the foundation of their theater-making, mediation, problem-solving and group healing practices.

She is the founder of Award-winning Falconworks Theater Company, which uses popular theater to build capacities for civic engagement and social change. She has received broad recognition, numerous awards, and citations for their community service. She has been a faculty member at Montclair State University, Pace University, and a company member of Shakespeare in Detroit.

Pink is currently in Providence Rhode Island teaching directing for the Brown/Trinity MFA program, while also directing the Brown University production of Aleshea Harris’s award-winning What To Send Up When It Goes Down. Get performance detail here.

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