The Last of Twelve Steps
Oh shit, I never finished writing on the steps, y’all — for realz!
Having fully immersed myself in writing a novel (a memoir, as much as a quasi-fictional being can have an autobiography) about recovery, my coverage of the topic slipped. I kind of left folks hanging at step 11. I’m gonna take a moment to bring some closure to the topic, though the recovery continues. I will still share about recovery. I’m now walking other addicts through their steps and that’s a whole other take.
Step 12 goes something like “Having had a spiritual awakening, we worked to share recovery resources with others , using them in all areas of our life.” I reworded it because the founders of AA seemed to have a tin ear when it came to sounding like a damn religious cult [reminder to write about recent incident with a cult]. No offense to Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormons (y’all better evangelize!), but those are folks when I see coming, I close the shutters. Step 12 conjures images of people in saffron robes at the airport. One thing that is not required is adherence to any theology. God gets thrown around a lot (welcome to western civilization!) I think it’s lack of imagination. Feel free to insert anything you embrace as a powerful enough force to carry you through and be gentle on yourself for being a non-believer.
The steps are a daily practice. They are not very complicated, but take a shit-load of courage (yes, I am going to go ahead and honor my own courage). They invite walking away from situations that bring out the worst in me, or leave me lost in self-doubt. They require detaching from what I want, and seeking out what is best. It requires the humility to know that what is best is sometimes beyond my full understanding. The steps are little more than a lifestyle model of care, honesty, humility and gratitude. That may seem a no-brainer in terms of ways to live. I experience these qualities are rare. That is not to say I’m great and everyone else is an asshole. That would be the opposite of recovery. The world punishes those qualities (care and them), making them endangered.
The key to working the steps and 12-step recovery is offered explicitly in what are called the traditions. These are the fail safe that prevents people from becoming recovery tyrants. One tradition states “our public relations policy is based on attraction, not promotion.” You won’t find people in 12-step recovery handing out flyers. The point is paying it forward. Someone twelfth stepped me (yes, it is a verb!) when they saw me struggling. Now it’s my turn to do the same. Hit me up if you need a little support.
