Define “White” for Me, Please?

Can anyone tell me what it actually means to be White, y’all — for realz?

Blah, blah, blah. Race is a construct. Easy to say, but ain’t nary a mo’ fo’ I know who’s ready to drop the historic implications of that shit. Race ain’t supposed to mean shit but people ready to fight tooth and nail about it. We know it ain’t just about frigging phenotype, ‘cause you can look Whiter than a mug, but if people find out your folks (either of them...or grandparents) were considered Black, your ass is Black and they call that shit passing. Don’t be White, though, and get caught trying to “act” Black (and I think people automatically assume what that shit means).

So, we know that White is more than how somebody look. Hell, Walter White (seriously, that name!) was Chair of the NAACP, looking so White not a soul would ever deny his ass wasn’t full on WASP, but Time Magazine threw his ass on the cover in 1938 as a credit to the Negro race. Walter White used to go under cover to lynchings and document what happened. That’s how we know lynchings was frigging community picnics, publicly attended like carnivals.

Does anyone feel comfortable actually using the phrase “I’m White?” What does it actually describe about a person, other than the color of their skin, but not really. Is there a cultural Whiteness? What is that? We know that about 65% of US citizens check a box every ten years to proclaim that shit, from the privacy of the census. But you rarely ever hear someone arguing the case the way a Black person will assert they Blackness.

I know there’s a bunch of clichés about Whiteness. White people don’t have rhythm. We giggle about that through the decades, but and yet the classical music, developed in Europe and attributed to White people, is considered the ultimate form of music expression. White people can’t dance (except ballet...highest form of the art). I’d put money, anything White people humble ass concede, there’s some ultimate version that White people dominate and is damn near exclusive a White domain.

So, who are the White people and what does it actually mean to be White? What comes with Whiteness that’s an actual understood thing that gets played out on the daily? What does it say about family dynamics? What traditions are born out of Whiteness? What are the things that happen regularly that you can say are the “White things” no one else would understand?

I’m looking forward to the comments!