Sex in Omnicron
Safer sex abounds in the time of Omnicron, y’all — for realz!
These days risks have heightened engaging in sexual behavior. I don’t get out much these days, that’s for certain, and the appeal of “hooking up” is about zero.. Coming of sexual age at the advent of the AIDS crisis doesn’t make me a winner. For a quarter century—my entire sexual history—I’ve been aware of sex first and foremost as a potential hazard. Hence, I’ve historically taken a sideways approach to all things coital. I get offers that shock me as Russian roulette players—people who balk at caution—continue as of it were business as usual. Some would have themselves hermetically sealed. Regardless of one’s level of diligence reticence and/or terror when it comes to getting off, there are safer options to keep horny folks happy and healthy.
Still, stuff happens.
I do have sex. For the first time in my half centuryI can say that without an ounce of shame. I’m late to the sex positivity party and my timing is atrocious considering the current public health crisis at hand. I can confirm (first hand) that at least a handful of people have had periods of sexual activity over the pandemic. I have a long list I trust who’d testify to it. I’ve made adjustments and interests have veered away from the simply physical encounter. I’m lucky to have people in my life to engage with sexually in relative safety. I’ve basically upped the standard precautions I’ve practiced (imperfectly) for decades.
Enter a sex-positive and resplendent Goddex to introduce me to the wide world of toys and their applications. Toys assist masturbation, extend fore play, or can be the headliner with a friend or more. Goddex swears by plugging—the insertion of a device into the anus, stimulating the rectal/anal goodies, leaving hands to work on other areas. We discovered the Satisfyer, an electronic plug that can be remotely controlled from the other side of the room, or outer space if you can get a connection.
When I do meet a partner in-person, my interest in typical intimate practices like kissing, caressing and frottage have been replaced with fun that doesn’t require direct contact. Yes: I’ve discovered kink. There it is. Turns out, I’m quite the Domme, if only by aspiration. I’m cultivating a persona, and I’ve amassed a fair amount of gear—corsets, leather, restraints and instruments of “torture”. I study Japanese rope tying. Shibari, as it’s known, amounts to intricate crochet designs made by knotting cord around a human subject. I find that practice extremely soothing. It also requires complete submission of the subject (AKA the “sub”). It’s an extended trust exercise that, like much of sensuality and intimacy, can be wholesome and healing.
Sexual expression is hard-wired. Safe sex practices are radical self-care. Normalizing sex is an act of revolution. I strongly recommend adrienne marie brown’s Pleasure Activism and the recent (3rd?) edition of The Ethical Slut. Talk to people. Others in your life like sex too. They might get a kick out of sharing tips, and be flattered and affirmed that you recognize them as having sensual lives.
Sharing any space, at any time, comes with risks, especially in the time of COVID. Discernment goes a long way to mitigate danger. Mindfulness, resourcefulness, imagination and planning can yield hot results while greatly reducing chances of harm. What’s lost to spontaneity, is made up for in peace of mind to enjoy the others involved. I hope people feel safe to share pointers in the comments. I wanna know.
—Notorious Pink
