School for Magick

I wish there was a magick school, y’all — for realz!

Tapping into these “gifts”—that I think are just ancient AF technology that’s been encoded in my blood all along—is starting to be a pain in my ass. We live in a world where if it ain’t serving the status quo it ain’t in the course catalogue. So, here I sit with a Masters from frigging Yale University, but the thing I’m really meant to do, I gotta teach myself or learn from videos on YouTube. I guess once upon a damn time, families use to support they kids gifts as a matter of survival. That’s probably why the Bible is so full of magick.

I shouldn’t complain. My degree from Yale kept my ass fed. It wasn’t my purpose, though. Although voice and speech classes helped me get in touch with the full range of my voice (thank you Barbara, Virginia and Ursula). Studying all that Shakespeare prepped me for understanding the Bible. I can’t hate on my pedigree. It’s hard AF to be impressed with an Ivy League degree when you can heal people with your touch. For real, y’all — the sound of my voice has had the power to sooth my whole life. That’s what I want to master now and I’m like a baby learning to walk.

I hope I didn’t insult anyone with the YouTube crack. I’ve learned a lot of valuable shit on YouTube. I have a pretty big following on YouTube myself. Unfortunately, magic isn’t the kind of thing you can learn from watching a video. Everybody’s magic is different. Ain’t no “one size fits all.” It comes through like it comes through. It shows up all unique and it’s up to you to figure the shit out, I guess. It’s a lot like X-Men, where people’s mutations show up like they do. Unfortunately, there ain’t no Xavier Institute!

So, I try everything. I listen to the animals. I write down every dream. I follow every instinct. Then something clicks. I hold a pack of tarot cards and it’s—forgive the cliché, but I’m going for accuracy not art—a jolt of electricity running through my arm. I get a sudden impulse to go to the cemetery and fill a jar with dirt. My other magick folk out there will have they own stories (and y’all need to share that shit).

I know this: I can probably cure what ails you. I can ease pain. That seems to be my main “super power.” I have a knack for throwing together the right herbs to dress a candle. I think I can lay on hands, which I’ve done for people my whole life. I can offer soothing words and release emotional blocks. You’ll probably cry a lot, but you’ll sure feel a lot better.

All that said, I’m holding out hope for a mentor. I can’t be the only person with these gifts and somebody out there has figured this shit out. Anyone know a good miracle healing coach?